Burn the Night Away
by Sora-Hikou
Summary: Kevin's POV. I know what I want. I just don't know how to get it. How to confront it. But Always, Always, do I know what I want. ONESHOT BEVIN


I find myself doing this more and more these days.

Sneaking into Ben's room.

Sitting at his computer desk.

Watching him as he sleeps.

It's so wrong. So, so, so, absolutely _fucking wrong_. But I can't stop myself. There's nothing inside of me to tell me I shouldn't be doing this. Just the little thing in my head telling me it's wrong, but to do it anyway.

I looked over to his alarm clock. It read in big red numbers; 3:00 A.M. Fuck. I need to be up in three hours. I _need_ to go home. I need to go to bed. I stood up, and pushed in the chair, when I heard him say something quietly;

"Don't go."

I turned to face him.

"Stop- Don't go." He said again. His eyes were closed tight, and he wasn't even facing me, but if felt like he was talking to me.

I know better.

I _know_ better. He is not talking to me. He's talking to his dream. But I'm retarded.

"I've gotta go, Benji." I whispered quietly, cautiously walking up to his bedside. "I'll see you tomorrow." I reassured him.

He couldn't hear me. I know he couldn't. He's asleep. But his voice- fuck that voice- was so, pleading. I almost wanted to stay. To curl up in that twin bed with him, and stroke him reassuringly. Promising to never leave.

But I know better.

But not much better. I leaned over and kissed his forehead and smoothed a stray hair back to the side.

He seemed to calm down. A smile spread across his lips. "See you." He mouthed before drifting further into his peaceful sleep.

I jumped out his window, struggling to close it before I hit the ground one story below.

I'm a monster.

That's what I think. Really, a fucking monster.

And in more ways than one.

_Always_ in more ways than one.

I sped all the way to my house. My poor camaro had never been pushed this hard.

I pulled into my garage, and the first thing I did when I got out of that car was take out his picture. I have many of these. And this is why;

I burned this picture. There was a bowl in the garage, piling up with ashes of pictures of the brunette of my affection.

This too has become regular.

Every time I come home after watching Ben sleep for so long, I did this.

Maybe I thought it'd make me change my feelings.

Maybe I thought it'd help me sleep.

All I knew is that it did neither of those things. I'd get home. And I'd lay in my bed. And I'd lay there for another hour and a half before finally, _finally_, getting to sleep. And my alarm clock would ring seemingly minutes later.

And I'd be off to the Garage where I work. Open, work on cars, get visits from Ben, work on cars, go on patrol with Ben and Gwen, go home and wait a few hours before going to Ben's. Watch him sleep for hours. Then the whole cycle would restart itself.

"Kevin." Ben said, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Uh. What do you want, Tennyson?" Keep up the tough guy appearance. Always keep up the tough guy appearance.

"I asked if you could maybe help me repair this car my Dad got me." He pointed to the beat up piece of junk behind him. "It was my birthday present. One of those that I have to work on. It's not really my cup of smoothie, though."

"Of course it isn't, Tennyson." The car he had was actually a piece of work. If we could get it working. It was a beat up Pontiac Firebird from the seventies. Its breaks were shot, the engine busted, transmission was out, radiator was broken, no AC, no heat, interior was coming apart and three out of four tires were flat. Fucked up, but still a piece of work. On any other occasion I'd kill to work on this beaut. "What're ya gonna pay me with, Ben?" I inspected the paint job on the car. It, too, could use some work.

"Whatever you want, Kevin. I just need this thing running so I can get my license next month."

"_Next Month?_" Night shift. Wonderful. That rules out watching Ben sleep. This might be good though.

"I'll help."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I need his help. But most of all; I think I needed his company while I worked on his car.

"I'll do it for you then. But you better help. Every night. After I get off, you better meet me here." Ben nodded. "Starting tonight."

Ben leaves. Leaving his car with me. Turning on his heel, no doubt heading for Mr. Smoothie.

I sighed.

"You love him." Someone said behind me. I turned quickly, seeing the one woman who works here. "You love him so much."

"So what? I mean, if I did?"

"He doesn't seem to notice." She turned back for the break room.

She was right. She doesn't even understand how right she is. Ben doesn't notice. And he probably doesn't feel the same.

Nighttime doesn't come fast enough for me.

Never comes fast enough for me. Never will.

But it finally came. And Ben flew up as Jetray, and landed in front of the garage. He changed back. "Alright, what can I do?" He asked.

I instructed him to rip out the upholstery. I gave him a box cutter. He did as he was told, ripping as much of it out as possible as I went through all the parts we'd need. I could get this car done tonight. This would be a breeze.

The night was still young though. Barely six thirty. I handed him a card. Instructed him to get forty yards of green leather. He smiled and did as he was told.

The hour I had to myself was grueling. I regretted sending him out almost immediately. I managed to get almost half the work done in his absence. The things he made me do were unfair. I hated how he had this much power over me. He always won the race we ran.

I pulled out the seats. They needed to be recovered with the leather Ben was bringing back. Just when I finished, he got back. He was carrying the leather as Humongousaur.

"Put it over there." I said, pointing next to his car. I was inspecting the condition of the seats. They were still great. Just needed new leather.

We rolled out the leather together. My heart skipped whenever we'd accidentally brush our hands together. He never noticed. I pretended not to. We cut the leather together too. He held the leather straight as I cut it. I draped the leather over his seats and securely fastened it. We loaded the seats up and we both sat in the front seats.

"Feels nice." Ben said, sinking in the passenger's seat.

"It does." I agreed. I put his key in the ignition and started the car. It started easily and hummed softly.

"It runs already?"

"Of course."

"You're awesome."

We sat there for a while. Listening to the car. I was enjoying his company. Then something hit me.

"Ben." I said, evenly. He turned to me, confused. "If no one else wanted me around…" I inhaled deeply. "would you still want me around?"

Ben didn't seem to think about the question at all. He answered quickly. "Of course I would." He smiled his Ben Tennyson smile. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I said quickly, finding solace in his words. He always knows what to say. That's what makes him a hero.

We sat there for a few more hours. I spoke up again. "We need to get paint on this thing."

"It's gotta be green." Ben got out of the car and took about ten steps backwards. "And a white stripe running horizontally." He smiled at this. I did too. It was very Ben Tennyson-y.

"I've got stuff for that." I revved his engine and backed the car up, turning it and then slipping it into a backroom of the garage. The paint room. Taped over the windows and the wheels. White coat first. Painter's Tape over the stripe. Green coat next.

I pulled the car out. Parked it, got out, and pealed off all the tape. "How's it look, Benji?" I said, stepping back and admiring my work.

"I can't believe you got it done so fast." He smiled. "I told my dad I'd be at this for weeks."

I almost stopped myself from saying my next thought. But I'm a retard. "You could always hang out at my place around this time everyday. For a few weeks."

He seemed happy with this suggestion. I was confused. "Sure." He got in the driver's seat of his car. He couldn't drive it, he knew how but no license still. Still just fifteen. "Drive behind me, Kev, will ya? I should be getting home."

I did. He drove perfectly fine. Way better than he had driven my car with Paradox- thank god. He pulled the car into the alley behind his house.

"Thanks for your help, Kevin." He propped his elbows up on my car door, his palms holding his cheeks. "I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem, Ben. I've wanted to work on a Firebird before."

Ben smiled. I loved his smile. He waved as he changed into Big Chill and flew up to his window, phasing through the wall.

I didn't leave for a long while. I waited. Waited until his lamp went off. I ran up to his house, taking my best leap for his window, and prying it open. I slipped in quietly.

"K-Kevin?!" I didn't wait long enough. Ben wasn't asleep yet. "Wh-What are you doing in here?!" He was sitting up, turning the lamp back on. He wasn't wearing a shirt. He always slept like that.

I decided to be bold tonight. "I want my payment for your car."

"Can't it _wait_? I mean, _shit._" Ben seemed to be smiling.

I approached him slowly. Cautiously. I took his chin into my hand. "No. No it can't. Not any longer."

His green eyes were sparkling. This is how I wanted to see him for the rest of my life. Weak in my arms, waiting for whatever I was going to do to him.

Eager even.

I kissed him softly. And I pulled back quickly.

He fell back on his bed, inviting me with him.

Every picture I burned hung heavy in my mind. Screamed at me. Wondering why I ever tried to forget this beautiful person.

When every word he's said has always helped me get through the day.

I'd never burn another picture of Benjamin Tennyson again.

I'd burn the night away in another way from now on.

* * *

Wrote based on Burn the Night Away by There for Tomorrow. c:

-Owlett


End file.
